【バーチャルYoutuber】HoneyStrap -ハニーストラップ-総合スレID有り Part.867【ハニスト/774inc.】

[0001 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲ fbb2-axJA) 2020/03/22(日) 18:07:50.45 ID:PqSobNbU0]

Vtuberグループ「HoneyStrap -ハニーストラップ-」を応援するスレです
誹謗中傷や不謹慎なネタ、コテハンはお断りします
スレと無関係の話題はスルー推奨でお願いします

■ハニーストラップ公式
灰猫ななし
https://twitter.com/HNST_official
ハニスト動画ch
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgqQ5iuvUyPRHp3rBLuOtCw

■メンバー
西園寺メアリ
https://twitter.com/Mary_HNST
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwePpiw1ocZRSNSkpKvVISw
島村シャルロット
https://twitter.com/Charlotte_HNST
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYTz3uIgwVY3ZU-IQJS8r3A
周防パトラ
https://twitter.com/Patra_HNST
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeLzT-7b2PBcunJplmWtoDg
堰代ミコ
https://twitter.com/Mico_HNST
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDh2bWI5EDu7PavqwICkVpA

※前スレ
【バーチャルYoutuber】HoneyStrap -ハニーストラップ-総合スレid有り Part.866【774inc.】
http://egg.5ch.net/test/read.cgi/streaming/1584776155/

※関連スレ
【バーチャルYoutuber】HoneyStrap -ハニーストラップ-総合スレ Part.867【ハニスト/774inc.】
http://egg.5ch.net/test/read.cgi/streaming/1584847057/

※避難所
ハニーストラップ総合スレ
http://jbbs.shitaraba.net/bbs/read.cgi/internet/25333/1584721427/ ​ ​
https://twitter.com/5chan_nel (5ch newer account)

[0002 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲ 1376-+miU) 2020/03/22(日) 19:26:52.87 ID:+oY3KMPX0]

うおおおおおおおおおおおおおおおおおおおおおおおおおおおおおおおおおおおおおおおおお

[0003 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲ d1d1-t1n7) 2020/03/22(日) 20:57:29.80 ID:TMCYpn7g0]

おおおおおおおん

[0004 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 0b7e-LR7u) 2020/03/22(日) 21:18:21.44 ID:6cs3NwsB0]

したらば管理人へ
あいつまだ潜伏してるらしいぞ

842 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲ 4b76-KP00)[sage] 2020/03/22(日) 21:09:30.79 ID:qByGZBh00
俺よ、俺ｗｗｗ

1000 名前：名無しさん[sage] 投稿日：2020年03月22日(日) 21時05分47秒 [夜]
シャルは落ちないな

【バーチャルYoutuber】HoneyStrap -ハニーストラップ-総合スレ Part.867【ハニスト/774inc.】
http://egg.5ch.net/test/read.cgi/streaming/1584847057/842

ハニーストラップ総合スレ
https://jbbs.shitaraba.net/bbs/read.cgi/internet/25333/1584721427/
>>1000

[0005 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW fbb2-kb6A) 2020/03/22(日) 21:19:31.22 ID:PqSobNbU0]

※避難所
ハニーストラップ総合スレPart.2
https://jbbs.shitaraba.net/bbs/read.cgi/internet/25333/1584878777/

[0006 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 51f4-VAOW) 2020/03/22(日) 21:21:03.17 ID:VAPAv/bn0]

>>4
その1000のレスは俺なんだが…
シスガイの行動がイミフすぎるわ

[0007 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW f9c1-MOoP) 2020/03/22(日) 21:47:22.85 ID:R7m2Z8Ui0]

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[0008 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 49b1-VlPY) 2020/03/22(日) 22:00:06.23 ID:zWc1bUGX0]

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[0009 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 49b1-VlPY) 2020/03/22(日) 22:00:18.87 ID:zWc1bUGX0]

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[0010 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 49b1-VlPY) 2020/03/22(日) 22:00:36.67 ID:zWc1bUGX0]

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[0011 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 93f0-uWUf) 2020/03/22(日) 22:01:16.30 ID:l5InULOZ0]

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[0012 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 93f0-uWUf) 2020/03/22(日) 22:01:27.61 ID:l5InULOZ0]

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[0013 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 93f0-uWUf) 2020/03/22(日) 22:01:43.57 ID:l5InULOZ0]

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[0014 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 99e5-o2PY) 2020/03/22(日) 22:02:25.35 ID:DEVz+Rfg0]

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[0015 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 99e5-o2PY) 2020/03/22(日) 22:02:42.19 ID:DEVz+Rfg0]

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[0016 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 99e5-o2PY) 2020/03/22(日) 22:03:00.08 ID:DEVz+Rfg0]

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[0017 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 29fd-kQKS) 2020/03/22(日) 22:03:40.98 ID:ox1F1Ex50]

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[0018 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 29fd-kQKS) 2020/03/22(日) 22:03:53.49 ID:ox1F1Ex50]

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[0019 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 29fd-kQKS) 2020/03/22(日) 22:04:13.01 ID:ox1F1Ex50]

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[0020 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 4156-iaAX) 2020/03/22(日) 22:04:54.85 ID:JlY4BjIA0]

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[0021 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 4156-iaAX) 2020/03/22(日) 22:05:04.39 ID:JlY4BjIA0]

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[0022 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 4156-iaAX) 2020/03/22(日) 22:05:21.94 ID:JlY4BjIA0]

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[0023 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 13a1-EliP) 2020/03/22(日) 22:06:41.99 ID:TGVN2HkM0]

パトラ崇拝が過熱化した未来では彼のファッション化が社会問題となっていた。
老若男女が彼の仕草や佇まいを真似るようになり、整形外科には「パトラと同じ顔にしてくれ」と喚く信者たちが昼夜問わず押し寄せた。
飽きれ果てた彼は一匹の渡り鳥に姿を変え、地上を捨て、オゾンの向こう側へ消えていった。

[0024 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 13a1-EliP) 2020/03/22(日) 22:07:07.40 ID:TGVN2HkM0]

パトラを知らない者はきっと映画のスタッフロールを最後まで見ないのだろう。
あの画面いっぱいに映し出される「小道具　パトラ」の文字を見逃すわけがない。

[0025 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 13a1-EliP) 2020/03/22(日) 22:07:28.87 ID:TGVN2HkM0]

パトラを乗せたリムジンが奈良の県境にさしかかると、東大寺であぐらをかいていた大仏が下座へ移って正座をした

[0026 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 13a1-EliP) 2020/03/22(日) 22:07:50.96 ID:TGVN2HkM0]

パトラを一目見た写真家は網膜に焼きついた彼の姿をフィルムに収めようと、何もない風景に向かって指が折れるまでシャッターを切り続けた

[0027 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 13a1-EliP) 2020/03/22(日) 22:08:15.46 ID:TGVN2HkM0]

パトラはＴシャツに短パン、虫取り網という軽装で極寒のエベレストに登頂し世界中を驚かせたが、当の本人は目当てのカブトムシが採れず満足していない様子だった

[0028 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 13a1-EliP) 2020/03/22(日) 22:08:49.13 ID:TGVN2HkM0]

パトラは食事をする際、三度感謝する。
例えば一杯のカツ丼を食べるとき。
彼はまずその身を捧げた豚に感謝する。
次にそれを調理した人間に。
最後にパトラという生命を生み出したこの地球に感謝する。

[0029 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 13a1-EliP) 2020/03/22(日) 22:09:24.47 ID:TGVN2HkM0]

パトラは雑誌のパワースポット特集に生物でありながら取り上げられた稀有な例である

[0030 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 13a1-EliP) 2020/03/22(日) 22:09:46.82 ID:TGVN2HkM0]

パトラは腕に止まった蚊をすぐに叩いたりはせず、客間に迎え入れて味の感想を求め、血液のさらなる品質向上を目指した

[0031 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 13a1-EliP) 2020/03/22(日) 22:10:08.28 ID:TGVN2HkM0]

パトラは生まれてこの方、離乳食を食べたことがない。
彼が食べていたもので近いものを挙げるとすればそれは泥である。

[0032 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 13a1-EliP) 2020/03/22(日) 22:10:28.16 ID:TGVN2HkM0]

パトラは武道を始めるや否や名だたる師範たちを次々と打ち破り、奪い取った道場の看板を木材にして軽井沢にコテージを建てた

[0033 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 13a1-EliP) 2020/03/22(日) 22:10:48.57 ID:TGVN2HkM0]

パトラは擬態能力にも優れている。飼い犬の食事量がある日を境に激増したことを不思議がった飼い主が犬をペットショップに連れていくと、それは犬に擬態した高田健志だった。

[0034 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 13a1-EliP) 2020/03/22(日) 22:11:32.42 ID:TGVN2HkM0]

パトラは待っていた。
待っている間、することもないので美術品をこしらえた。
待ち人は来ない。
雨が降った。
美術品が濡れてはいけないと城を建てた。
待ち人はまだ来ない。
彼は待ち続けた。
気づくと手は皺だらけになっていた。
そして、やがて彼は城の中で独り、灰になった。
『ルーヴル美術館誕生秘話』

[0035 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 13a1-EliP) 2020/03/22(日) 22:12:02.53 ID:TGVN2HkM0]

パトラは宇宙そのものだ。
地球は彼の胃袋の中に在り、我々はただ消化されるのをじっと待つ肉の塊でしかない。
我々はその全体像を把握できないまま、緩慢な死を迎えるのだ。

[0036 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 13a1-EliP) 2020/03/22(日) 22:12:28.23 ID:TGVN2HkM0]

パトラは女を深く愛することができない。
大抵の女は二度目のキスでアナフィラキシーを起こして死んでしまうからだ。

[0037 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 13a1-EliP) 2020/03/22(日) 22:16:53.65 ID:TGVN2HkM0]

パトラは夜になると発光する。
電気のない時代、灯油を買うお金がないほど貧しかった少年はパトラを明かり代わりに勉強を続け、後に政府高官となった。

[0038 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 13a1-EliP) 2020/03/22(日) 22:17:26.24 ID:TGVN2HkM0]

パトラは国民的アニメ『サザエさん』にパトラ役として長期に渡り出演し、磯野家を一度マルチ商法によって家庭崩壊まで追い詰めたことがある

[0039 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 13a1-EliP) 2020/03/22(日) 22:17:49.78 ID:TGVN2HkM0]

パトラは人生に何度か死の淵を彷徨って三途の川を渡る船に乗ったことがあるが、そのたびに無賃乗船が発覚し、渡りきる前に川のど真ん中で降ろされている

[0040 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 13a1-EliP) 2020/03/22(日) 22:18:12.00 ID:TGVN2HkM0]

パトラは不老不死の肉体を保つために年に一度脱皮する。
その抜け殻を見た者は子宝に恵まれるという。

[0041 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 13a1-EliP) 2020/03/22(日) 22:18:31.09 ID:TGVN2HkM0]

パトラはペット禁止の店内に豚を連れて入り、店員に注意されるとその場で豚をハムに変えた

[0042 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 13a1-EliP) 2020/03/22(日) 22:18:57.61 ID:TGVN2HkM0]

パトラは「たかいたかい」をして赤ん坊をうっかり衛星軌道に乗せてしまったことがトラウマになっていて、ベビーカーを見ると手の震えが止まらなくなる

[0043 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 13a1-EliP) 2020/03/22(日) 22:19:22.12 ID:TGVN2HkM0]

パトラの辞書には「勝利」という文字しか存在しない。
どのページを開いても一様に「勝利」の解説であるため、辞書としては丸っきり役に立たない。

[0044 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 13a1-EliP) 2020/03/22(日) 22:19:41.35 ID:TGVN2HkM0]

パトラの胸に聴診器を当てた医者はその心音の美しさに川のせせらぎを連想し、一句詠まずにはいられなかった

[0045 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 13a1-EliP) 2020/03/22(日) 22:20:08.06 ID:TGVN2HkM0]

パトラの背には生まれつき大きな十字架型のアザがある。
はたから見るとまるで入れ墨なので、彼の入浴を禁じる温泉旅館は数多い。

[0046 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 13a1-EliP) 2020/03/22(日) 22:20:36.60 ID:TGVN2HkM0]

パトラの胃袋は長年のサバイバル生活によって進化を遂げた。
その胃酸はダイヤモンドをも溶かす。

[0047 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 13a1-EliP) 2020/03/22(日) 22:21:07.75 ID:TGVN2HkM0]

パトラの耳から石油が湧き出すことに気づいた耳かき屋はこれを売って一山当てようと考えた。
最初は儲けた金で生活費を賄う程度だったが、採掘量が増えると、派手な暮らしをするようになった。
ある日、不動産契約を済ませた耳かき屋が大喜びで帰宅すると、石油はただの水になっていた。

[0048 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 6b4f-zZ5/) 2020/03/22(日) 22:22:16.62 ID:kxuikNjE0]

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[0049 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 6b4f-zZ5/) 2020/03/22(日) 22:22:27.16 ID:kxuikNjE0]

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[0050 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 6b4f-zZ5/) 2020/03/22(日) 22:22:45.59 ID:kxuikNjE0]

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[0051 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 6b4f-zZ5/) 2020/03/22(日) 22:24:05.37 ID:kxuikNjE0]

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[0052 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 6b4f-zZ5/) 2020/03/22(日) 22:24:15.15 ID:kxuikNjE0]

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[0053 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW a911-zZ5/) 2020/03/22(日) 22:24:57.94 ID:I0KrtFSS0]

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[0054 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW a911-zZ5/) 2020/03/22(日) 22:25:07.61 ID:I0KrtFSS0]

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[0055 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW a911-zZ5/) 2020/03/22(日) 22:25:24.29 ID:I0KrtFSS0]

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Y5XQuiwLymFqCX4Lit3dGkMRjT6JR5Jswr42Qovfs6kHYpNtAMw8uCe5vFO7E02UsS66kRh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[0056 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 69cc-RRvE) 2020/03/22(日) 22:28:57.82 ID:VtfIdEWJ0]

パトラの最終学歴が幼稚園なのは、産声を上げると同時にこの世の全てを理解してしまったため、これ以上学ぶことがないからである

[0057 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 69cc-RRvE) 2020/03/22(日) 22:29:27.15 ID:VtfIdEWJ0]

パトラの怒りの表情を描くよう依頼された画家はどうしても彼の怒っている姿を想像できず、一か月後、数千枚にも及ぶ笑みを浮かべたパトラに囲まれながらアトリエで首を吊って死んだ

[0058 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 69cc-RRvE) 2020/03/22(日) 22:29:46.43 ID:VtfIdEWJ0]

パトラの家にバリアフリーは存在しない。あるのは心臓破りの坂とトゲの生えた手すりぐらいだ。

[0059 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 69cc-RRvE) 2020/03/22(日) 22:30:18.71 ID:VtfIdEWJ0]

パトラの右払いに並々ならぬ才能を感じた書道家は彼を弟子に迎えた。
書道家の教育はスパルタ極まりないもので、少しでも美しくない右払いをしようならば文鎮で何度も頭部を殴打した。
書道家が文鎮を振り上げなくなった頃、彼の右払いは頸動脈をたやすく切断できる切れ味にまで磨き上げられていた。

[0060 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 69cc-RRvE) 2020/03/22(日) 22:30:46.70 ID:VtfIdEWJ0]

パトラの個体数減少を受けて日本政府は彼を絶滅危惧種に指定するなどして保護を試みてはいるも、依然として密猟者による乱獲が後を絶たないという。
我々が日頃目にしているパトラは日本最後の個体かもしれない。

[0061 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 69cc-RRvE) 2020/03/22(日) 22:31:08.20 ID:VtfIdEWJ0]

パトラの体の60％は水分でできている。
宗教学的には神だが、生物学的にはヒト科に属する。

[0062 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 69cc-RRvE) 2020/03/22(日) 22:31:55.80 ID:VtfIdEWJ0]

パトラのグラビア撮影を担当していたカメラマンは彼の顔に一本の長いしわを発見した。
注意深く見てみると、それは手のひらに収まりきらず顔まで這い伸びてきた生命線だった。

[0063 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 69cc-RRvE) 2020/03/22(日) 22:32:24.89 ID:VtfIdEWJ0]

パトラに生命を吹き込まれた味のないガムは恥ずかしそうに銀紙にくるまりゴミ箱の方へ駆けていった

[0064 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 69cc-RRvE) 2020/03/22(日) 22:32:47.26 ID:VtfIdEWJ0]

パトラに抱き上げられた生まれたての赤ん坊は、すっかり人生に満足してしまい、スコップを手に取って墓を掘り出した

[0065 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 69cc-RRvE) 2020/03/22(日) 22:33:08.08 ID:VtfIdEWJ0]

パトラに出会った獰猛なグリズリーは一目見て実力の差を悟り、死んだふりをした

[0066 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 69cc-RRvE) 2020/03/22(日) 22:33:30.47 ID:VtfIdEWJ0]

パトラに予防接種を行った看護師はあまりの血流の速さに注射針ごと右腕を持っていかれた

[0067 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 69cc-RRvE) 2020/03/22(日) 22:34:04.50 ID:VtfIdEWJ0]

パトラには名前をひらがなで書いていた時期が存在しない。
幼稚園の頃、彼がクレヨンで描いた家族の絵からは｢おとうさん、おかあさん｣とあどけない字で書かれた横に行書で書かれた｢パトラ｣の3文字が確認できる。

[0068 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW a911-zZ5/) 2020/03/22(日) 22:34:23.44 ID:I0KrtFSS0]

パトラと握手を交わした大統領は帰国後、肘から下がなくなっていることに気づいた

[0069 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW a911-zZ5/) 2020/03/22(日) 22:34:45.37 ID:I0KrtFSS0]

パトラと対峙した牛鬼は彼の一挙一動を見逃さまいと身構えていた。
砂埃が目に入り瞬きをした次の瞬間、牛鬼は皿の上にいた。

[0070 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW a911-zZ5/) 2020/03/22(日) 22:35:22.42 ID:I0KrtFSS0]

パトラという能ある鷹は爪を隠さない。見られたところで獲物はすでに爪の中だ。

[0071 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 69cc-4KA9) 2020/03/22(日) 22:36:03.79 ID:VtfIdEWJ0]

パトラが雪の日に田んぼの前を通りかかると、春が来たと勘違いしたカエルが土の中から飛び出した

[0072 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 69cc-4KA9) 2020/03/22(日) 22:36:32.64 ID:VtfIdEWJ0]

パトラが茶碗を持つと力なく浮かんでいた茶柱が勢いよく飛び上がり部屋の天井に突き刺さった

[0073 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 69cc-4KA9) 2020/03/22(日) 22:36:54.08 ID:VtfIdEWJ0]

パトラが自転車を漕ぐと錆びたチェーンが金切り音を鳴らし、それが夜だとまるで亡者の悲鳴に聞こえるものだから、近所の子どもたちは｢地獄が近づいてくる｣と、これを恐れ、日が暮れるまでには家に帰ったという

[0074 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 69cc-4KA9) 2020/03/22(日) 22:37:12.50 ID:VtfIdEWJ0]

パトラが指揮を執ると、それまで不調だったオーケストラがたちまち七色の音色を奏で出し、舞台上に虹がかかった

[0075 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 69cc-4KA9) 2020/03/22(日) 22:37:33.54 ID:VtfIdEWJ0]

パトラが山頂の別荘で夕飯の支度を始めると、おろしすぎた大根が雪崩となって麓の村を襲った

[0076 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 69cc-4KA9) 2020/03/22(日) 22:37:53.08 ID:VtfIdEWJ0]

パトラが天も地もない真っ暗な世界にホタルを数匹放つと、そこに光が生まれ、昼と夜ができた

[0077 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 69cc-4KA9) 2020/03/22(日) 22:38:12.87 ID:VtfIdEWJ0]

パトラがロンドン市街で雄叫びを上げると、日本文化を知らぬ異国の民たちが一斉に立ち止まり、二礼二拍手一礼をした

[0078 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 69cc-4KA9) 2020/03/22(日) 22:39:04.18 ID:VtfIdEWJ0]

パトラがベッドに横たわると生気を取り戻した羽毛製品たちが部屋中を飛び回り、床中に糞尿をまき散らした後、窓の外へと飛び去っていった。
寝床を失ったパトラはその日、腰痛と悪臭に苦しみながら糞尿まみれの床で寝た。

[0079 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 69cc-4KA9) 2020/03/22(日) 22:39:25.59 ID:VtfIdEWJ0]

パトラがドリンクバーで「お茶」のボタンを押すとドロドロに煮えたぎった溶岩が出てきた

[0080 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 69cc-4KA9) 2020/03/22(日) 22:39:48.64 ID:VtfIdEWJ0]

革命を企てた罪で捕えられたパトラはあらゆる拷問に屈することなく、アイアンメイデンの中でいびきをかきながら眠った

[0081 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 69cc-4KA9) 2020/03/22(日) 22:40:08.20 ID:VtfIdEWJ0]

面倒見の良いパトラは、収録終わりに後輩芸人たちをマンホール下の自宅に招き入れては、ネズミ料理を振る舞う

[0082 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 69cc-4KA9) 2020/03/22(日) 22:40:33.40 ID:VtfIdEWJ0]

雪の日に１人、マッチを売り歩く少女を見てこの国の異常さに気づいたパトラは、少女から買い取ったマッチで貴族の家に火を放ち、王政を打倒すべく開戦の狼煙を上げた

[0083 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW 69cc-4KA9) 2020/03/22(日) 22:40:57.86 ID:VtfIdEWJ0]

難病の子どもにホームランを打つ約束をしたパトラは、その日の試合全打席デッドボールで出塁した

[0084 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲ d1d1-t1n7) 2020/03/22(日) 22:53:07.31 ID:TMCYpn7g0]

ぼんじり生きていたのか

[0085 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW b173-KN7p) 2020/03/22(日) 22:56:18.39 ID:NRy992l90]

金魚すくいの屋台で「一匹すくえた、二匹すくえた」と一喜一憂する子どもたちの横でパトラは、プールに定置網をしかけ一網打尽にした

[0086 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW b173-KN7p) 2020/03/22(日) 22:56:43.61 ID:NRy992l90]

重税に苦しむ市民に領主暗殺を依頼されたパトラは「昼飯までには終わらせる」とカップラーメンに湯を入れた

[0087 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW b173-KN7p) 2020/03/22(日) 22:57:03.47 ID:NRy992l90]

酒を買ったがつまみがないことに気づいたパトラは冷蔵庫からレモンを取り出し、大鷲の頭上で搾った

[0088 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW b173-KN7p) 2020/03/22(日) 22:57:24.35 ID:NRy992l90]

運動会でケガをした7歳のパトラは水筒に入れていた日本酒を口に含み、傷口に勢いよく吹きかけた

[0089 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW b173-KN7p) 2020/03/22(日) 22:57:59.21 ID:NRy992l90]

近所で川遊びをしていたパトラ少年は転んだ拍子にポケットに入れていたビスケットを四つに割ってしまった。
一時は食べることも考えたが、少し泥で汚れていたし、またビスケットは家にたくさんあったため、思い切って川に捨ててしまった。
四つの断片は現在、北海道、本州、四国、九州と呼ばれている。

[0090 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW b173-KN7p) 2020/03/22(日) 22:58:29.66 ID:NRy992l90]

輸血用の血液が不足していることを知ったパトラは週6ペースで献血センターに通い続けた。
雨の日も風の日も通い続け、時にはセンターをハシゴした。
血液のほとんどを失い青白い顔になった頃、彼はもらったあんパンで駅前にパン屋を開いていた。

[0091 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW b173-KN7p) 2020/03/22(日) 22:58:52.50 ID:NRy992l90]

豊臣秀吉は懐で温めた草履を織田信長に差し出した。
一方、デキる男・パトラは温めた草履にサイン入り色紙まで付けた。

[0092 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW b173-KN7p) 2020/03/22(日) 22:59:11.21 ID:NRy992l90]

警察に追いつめられた怪盗・パトラがビルの屋上で口笛を吹くと、救助に向かっていたドクターヘリが遭難者ほったらかしで彼の元に駆けつけた

[0093 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW b173-KN7p) 2020/03/22(日) 22:59:36.65 ID:NRy992l90]

誤って一匹の蜘蛛を殺してしまったパトラはその日のうちに葬儀屋と連絡を取り、後日、各界の著名人を招いて早すぎる死を惜しんだ

[0094 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW b173-KN7p) 2020/03/22(日) 22:59:57.64 ID:NRy992l90]

誕生日に欲しいものを聞かれた5歳のパトラは、おもむろに世界地図を取り出し、アメリカ大陸を大きな円で囲った

[0095 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW b173-KN7p) 2020/03/22(日) 23:00:37.85 ID:NRy992l90]

裁縫技術に長けていたパトラは縫い針一本で腹を空かせたワニに立ち向かった。
彼が針を行ったり来たりさせると、体長5メートルはあろうワニの体が見る見るうちに縮んで行き、やがて一点のクロコダイル財布に仕立て上げられ、翌日店頭に並んだ。

[0096 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW b173-KN7p) 2020/03/22(日) 23:01:25.38 ID:NRy992l90]

虫捕りをしていた少年が庭の石を持ち上げると、石の下にはパトラの顔をした芋虫がうごめいていた。
気味が悪くなった彼は、石を芋虫に叩きつけて、部屋に逃げ帰った。
石の下からは緑色の体液が、彼の跡を追うように流れ出していた。
翌朝、彼は顔を洗おうと蛇口をひねった。
水は綺麗な緑色をしていた。

[0097 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW b173-KN7p) 2020/03/22(日) 23:01:48.85 ID:NRy992l90]

茶道を広めようとパトラの元を訪れた千利休だったが、帰る頃にはすっかり「わび」も「さび」も忘れて、コーラとフィッシュ＆チップスに溺れていた

[0098 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW b173-KN7p) 2020/03/22(日) 23:02:58.06 ID:NRy992l90]

花瓶の割れる音を聞きつけたナースが病室に駆けつけると、まだ傷も癒えていないパトラがレギュラー番組の収録へ向かおうとベッドから這い出していた

[0099 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW b173-KN7p) 2020/03/22(日) 23:03:33.63 ID:NRy992l90]

聖徳太子は10人の話を同時に聞くことができたとされているが、実際は間にいたパトラがその場で彼らの話を要約し、的確に太子に伝えていただけであって、太子自身には何の力もなかった

[0100 名無しさん＠お腹いっぱい。 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲW b173-KN7p) 2020/03/22(日) 23:03:56.29 ID:NRy992l90]

老人「孫の手は便利だ。かゆいところに手が届く」 主婦「孫の手は便利だ。隙間のホコリに手が届く」 パトラ「孫の手は便利だ。敵の喉元に手が届く」